![]() ![]() A bottom is the partner who surrenders temporary control to a Dominant during an SM scene. A bottom could be a slave, sex toy, masochist, Daddy’s girl, harem-girl, pony-girl, exhibitionist, the upstairs maid, or a footstool. ![]() Within this definition, there is a wide spectrum of bottom types. Some take this even further, saying W/we and O/our, though this can be very clumsy in an IM conversation.īottoms A common term for a submissive is a “bottom”, which highlights the submissive’s role in a relationship. Equally, submissive roles are written in lower case. In the same vein, a sub refers to herself as i, and my, at all times. When a Top refers to a sub, He will say you, your, even when normal grammar requires capitalization (eg to begin a sentence). When a sub refers to a Top she will say You, Your. When a Top refers to Himself, He will say Me, My. ![]() So, we have Dome, Domme, Dominatrix, Sir, Lord, Master, etc, to refer to the Top. Those in a dominant role typically capitalize certain words that are pertinent to the “Top” role, whereas submissives use lower-case letters when using words pertinent to the “bottom” role. Most practitioners use either SM/S&M or BDSM as the preferred moniker for their activities.Ĭonventions In SM, when using the written word, there are conventions employed that assist in delineating and reinforcing the roles adopted by each partner. There is also the ‘catch-all’ description BDSM. SM (or S&M) is shorthand for sadomasochism, though it is known by many other names, including D&S (dominance and submission), D/s (Dominant/submissive), B&D (bondage & discipline), R&P (restraint and pleasure), guidance and correction, guidance and surrender, age play, role-playing, psychodrama and fetishism. ![]() It will enrich your life and enhance your lovemaking. Being submissive in an SM setting will heighten the intimacy, trust and communication in your relationship. NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).Ġ No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit).Ģ Willing to do, but has no special appeal.ģ Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.Ĥ LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.ĥ WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.There is nothing politically incorrect about being sexually submissive, even in our world, because your sexuality is entirely a personal choice – your choice. * I will do with current sex partner only. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity. There is intentionally some overlap between categories. For example under diapers you might wish to distinguish between " wetting" and " soiling". Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the margin to the right.Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners.5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular / occasional basis.2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it.NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit)."?" means you don't understand what the item is attempting to describe.For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender. For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.Switches should go through the checklist twice one person's Dom and sub interests may be very different.įor each item, you need to provide two answers: Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. This checklist should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/ Top before playing with them. ![]()
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